Some tips for How to Make Friends As An Adult
Making Friends as an Adult there’s no secret that as we get older, our circles become smaller and there are less life events in which we can be social, like being forced into school programming when we were younger.
And there’s a good chance that you start to see the people you’re close to less. We get sucked into our routines, our hobbies, and often we don’t want to deviate from our scheduled program. This can become increasingly frustrating,
especially if you are a person who is craving a new, healthy adult friendship. We’re going to explore the struggles of making friends as an adult and discuss three ways to get connected with other people. Don’t change a channel. We’ll be right back. This is real life, pike. Yeah. Yeah.
Ah, it’s so great being an adult. I really wish my 15 year old self could see the reality of what adulthood actually looks like. No, it’s not like Sex in the City, where you frolic with your girl gang while shopping away,
and the only cause of stress in your life is leaving a Mr. Big at the altar. Now, don’t get me started on all the dating modes, but in all seriousness, adulting has been one of the more polar opposite experiences, at least in my opinion.
The question that often pops into my head is why?
- Why can’t I get together with people?
- Why do I have a hard time getting together with others?
And then you throw on a pandemic in which your questioning becomes irrelevant and your social interactions are meeting with your boss on Zoom. I think it’s important to have conversations as to why making friends is just so difficult
. Oftentimes we feel alone and don’t believe that others could possibly be experiencing this feeling of inadequacy. However, when just talking to people, you can see
the reality of the difficulties some of us have. One of the major reasons is we don’t have that builtin opportunity to meet with people. For some of us, the days of joining school, clubs or other activities are over.
We are now literally thrown with needless free time, and that can be overwhelming to manage, especially if you work full time or have other obligations. Research shows that after the age of 25,
most adult friendships start to dwindle. Some of this has to do with changing jobs, getting married, moving to another state, and just even having children. Another reason you may feel defeated when nnn making friends is that you may just be over making friends. This could be due to bad experiences in the past.
You might legitimately may feel burned out having to put yourself out there and risk the chance of getting rejected again. So with this rationale, where do we go from here? Well, I want to start off by talking about how important friendships are. Research shows that people with larger
social circles have a 50% lower mortality risk than those who didn’t. For more information on how loneliness can impact your mental and physical health. Check out our Loneliness video on our page,
where we explore this topic further. Here are three strategies to assist you with making friends as an adult. Number one open mindedness. It’s super imperative that we are open minded when it comes to meeting new people and wanting that long lasting relationship.
Oftentimes, this means we have to get out of our comfort zone and try new activities or deviate from our daily routine. On the flip side, if you’re on the other end of the receiving line and someone is inviting you somewhere, accept the invitation.
Accepting invitations is a great way to open the door for a new friendship and will make you feel empowered, especially if you’re a maybe no person when it comes to invites. Ellen Henderson, author of how to Be Yourself quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety, differentiates between.
overt and covert avoidance. Overt avoidance means failing to show up at events, and covert avoidance means failing to engage with people when you get there. We have to overcome both overt and covert avoidance to make friends. Just because you made it to the party doesn’t mean it’s over.
You have to put in the work while you’re there too. Number two nowhere to look. Think about that list that you have of all the activities or hobbies that you ever wanted to try or do. This is a great opportunity to give those a try and meet people along the way by taking classes, virtual or in person, joining meetup groups, getting together with neighbors, volunteering, or even taking your pets to local park could be a great way for you to meet people with similar interests.
The more you surround yourself with people who are like minded, the more you will feel connected and potentially the spark for a friendship will blossom. And number three initiate and maintain the relationship. This could be the hardest
part. You’ve maybe gotten together a few times with people and then you don’t hear from them again. It’s so important that we make attempts to stay connected with other people, whether that’s shooting them a text or email and letting them know you’re thinking about them.
I’m guilty of this myself because in the midst of busy schedules, it’s easy to just disconnect. However, I’m here to challenge myself and you to make more efforts to stay connected.
Think about a time when you were on the receiving end of a text or email, including you in something or them just saying hi. We hold a lot of power in our ability to communicate with others.
Give it a try and put yourself outside of your comfort zone. Additionally, get together with people. Take the initiative to create a zoom midnight with a few people in your circle.
Thanks for tuning in to another episode of Real Life Psych. I really hope that the strategies and tools we discuss can be incorporated into your everyday life and are ready for
use as needed. When writing this episode, I realized even though we are all unique, it’s so great to learn from each other and gain different perspectives.
I hope my perspective today was helpful and if you feel comfortable